Be original and win my heart! (for him)

(name),

did you know I am always dreaming of the night in which you will get closer to me, and finally, seduce me? You probably have not even thought of that, right?
I’ll only ask you for one thing, because I am almost yours, it only depends on your ability and diplomacy...don’t try to get closer to me with prepared phrases, with that little fifth category sweet talk, because if you come up with those questions like "does your doggy have a phone number?" my answer will be just as low as your question, something like, "Is your mother, that bitch, on one of her days?..."
You know, from far away you look really special and different from the other guys. You seem intelligent and charming, and that is what made me write you this little note.
I hope you don’t disappoint me! I really hope you have competition and class to get to know me better, to allow me to confirm all the great impressions I’ve had of you from far away.

Don’t be afraid and have this first kiss from,
(signature)